Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
