we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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