You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
