And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
