she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
