I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I think my moral compass just broke
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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