Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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