was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
