The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
