Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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