If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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