I bet he comes in French.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
