i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
