she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
