you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I am midnight drunk by noon
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
