I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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