It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
