Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
