Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
