I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
