he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
