Barsexuality is the new black.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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