If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
