Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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