i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
