We're facebook friends in real life
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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