awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
