Me too!
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i dont even know how to be here
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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