I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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