I think I can smell my own vagina right now
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
