If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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