Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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