I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
