oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Randomize
