Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize