Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
