this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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