How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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