These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
