You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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