He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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