Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
