yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
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Do I have a choice?
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I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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