Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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