Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
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If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
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I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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