im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize