I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
splinters make it hard to masturbate
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
