Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
