don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
