My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
