I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
