I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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