That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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