Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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