he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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