Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I currently don't understand fingers.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
