you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
