remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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