maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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