I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm at about main and main street
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You were trust falling into bushes
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
