Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
