I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
