im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
