Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
