dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
