Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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